


A Bat in Love (or Brucie makes it worse)

by Dwarfanonymice



Series: The life and troubles of a Bat in love (with the long suffering partecipation and loving it of Superman) [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, DCU, DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 04:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15187121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dwarfanonymice/pseuds/Dwarfanonymice
Summary: "He is my Superman."Or how you should never interrupt a patrolling because an annoyed Batman will get his revenge. In public. And you will love it and simultaneosly suffer for it.





	A Bat in Love (or Brucie makes it worse)

It was a nice night or as nice as you can expect in Gotham. So, no crimes, no Joker running around, not even a mugging. “How is it even possible?” thought Batman with an annoyed growl. “If this continues, I’ll go to bed at eleven. Alfred would be happy.” He stood grimly on the rooftop of a palace in Gotham’s centre and he prepared himself mentally to go back to the lake house.

In that moment he received a tip over some commotion at the docks and he prepared to jump from the rooftop with his grappling hook and land in the Batmobile.  
All was going well, but the hook jammed in mid-flight and he found himself dangling over the Batmobile at a considerable height. In seconds he should have been thrown against the building, but he found himself face to face with a certain Someone who smiled softly at him, took him in his arms and deposited him safe and sound in the Batmobile with a coffee in his hand.

“Do I look like Lois to you? I had it covered” he complained with aplomb while sipping from his coffee with determination. “I need to go to the docks. So, thanks but go away”.  
“I’m sure you did B.” answered Clark placidly. “Dick and Damian are at the docks: a little bit of human trafficking that they are solving. We can go home now.”  
“What? No crimes in Metropolis?” rebuked Bruce.  
“I saved a cat out of a tree and helped with a fire downtown. I am sure Luthor will find something for me to do in the near future, but for now… nothing.” Clark sighed and massaged his neck, obviously tired.  
“You have to stop hunching down while typing away at your computer or everywhere else. Even Kryptonians could get bad backs.” Bruce replied ignoring Clark’s muttered “Yes mother hen” and the Batmobile roared to life while he added “We are going back to the lake house, because we have a party tomorrow at the Manor.”  
“Oh. I am not disappointed. I don’t wait anxiously around for the criminals sulking in the shadows.” Clark sassed back. “I am glad for the respite. What are we having the party for again?”

Bruce smiled and Clark got immediately anxious: “Oh, something in favour of books, I’m told. My PR already released a statement to the press.”  
Superman eyeballed him and snorted: “Thank God you now go to bed with the press.”  
“And what a fine press he is. He’s got a really great ass. A full package of cornfed Kansas beef.” Bruce added insouciantly exiting the Batmobile and going up the stairs of the cave in Alfred’s direct line of hearing who didn’t stop tinkering with the Batarangs (Master Damian asked to make them invisible and Master Dick wanted a tracking system on them. For obvious reasons.) He watched fondly as the two men continued their bickering while undressing and putting on some slacks before finally going upstairs.

If Clark thought that whatever has gotten into Bruce that night was just irritation at being interrupted in his patrol, he was grievously mistaken. Having a stable relationship with all his perks had finally put on display Bruce’s long lost playfulness and the family got a bite of that the night of the funding and in the years to come.  
Playfulness that translated in Brucie’s eccentricities being even more accentuated, but everyone was secretly glad for it, even if the first attempt caused a bit of an uproar.  
His glib reply notwithstanding about books, the charity gala was held in favour of Gotham library’s expansion and the funding of free courses about a variety of subjects to end illiteracy for good. The poor and the orphans could even get free meals out of it, as an incentive.  
So everyone in the family was behaving at their best in the attempt to “squeeze every last penny out of the rich idiots”, as Jason so charmingly put it and no one, not even Clark, contradicted him.  
It was then that disaster struck (no, it wasn’t the Joker or some of the villains-du-jour). It was all Brucie.

In their defense, their guard was down because Bruce was talking to Doctor Leslie Thompkins and some other enterpreneurs who wanted to be seen talking to the famous Bruce Wayne and he was usually too scared of the good doctor to do something idiotic.

Suddenly Brucie was heard laughing in a pretentious way, and that motivated Clark to come closer, because that laughter always brought bad news. "Oh, you have no idea how wrong you are, Winston."  
That things were getting worse was predicted by the grimace of Dr. Thompkins who motioned to Jason himself to approach. The boy obviously ignored her and got into position to enjoy the show. 

Brucie continued undaunted, assuming an idiot's expression in love that made him seem more constipated than anything else: "Clark is the man who saved me, his love made me a better man" and raising his tone of voice so that they all heard him in a huge room that now listened in a religious silence, "He is my saviour. He is my Superman. From now on I will constantly call him so."  
To make matters worse he then turned suddenly towards Clark, who looked at him in shock and he whispered to him with heart-shaped eyes and in the softer tone he could assume: "Hi, my sweet Superman".  
Seeing the savage expression in his eyes, Clark ran his hand over his eyes and sighed defeated, while Damian, Dick, Barbara, Stephanie, and Cass began to laugh at Jason's scream ("What the fuck, Bruce?”).

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language.  
> Assume that everyone is fine and Bruce is in a stable relationship. I'll ignore his last attempt to settle down with Selina, that ended in a disaster, and I'll give him Clark instead. No need to thank me, Bats.


End file.
